After 4 unanswered calls from Charlie, I listened to the message yesterday. He said that he had been in an accident again. The message was actually quite stranger than that...
"Hi, this is ___. I don't know if you have people checking up on me and driving by my house. I wanted to tell you that my truck isn't in my driveway because I got into an accident in Omaha. My truck is all fucked up, it's being towed back to Blair. I'm at the ER, but you probably don't give a fuck!"
Yes, that man has a way with words. Now the most bizarre part of the message was him thinking that I have "people" driving by his house. I don't know anyone that would be willing to do that and why would I want to? I must be used to his crazy because the art of the message that really stuck out to me was...the accident. This is his fourth accident he has claimed since we split 5 months ago. Four accidents! I attribute this to three possible causes:
1. He lies. He may or may not have been in each of these accidents. He is very manipulative and full of self pity.
2. He takes pain medication from injuries of previous accidents. If he abuses these medications, that may explain some of his other bizarre behavior.
3. If he did kill or kidnap my cat, the universe will not support that. He is on a self destructive path, if he thinks that he can deny it and keep it hidden. It will be revealed and his own self destruction will be drawn to him.
So when did I slip? I called him and said that I'm glad he's OK. I also said please stop calling me and that I am done. I was blunter than I've ever been. I said that I will NEVER want him back and that he should see someone else. He asked why I had said things contrary in the past. I said that I was honest at the time, but I changed my mind. I also admitted that I had talked to him because I wanted my cat. He didn't admit anything. I think he was honestly hurt. He started un-confess sleeping with someone. I gave up and hung up the phone.
After the Order
Something hardly anyone talks about is what takes place in your heart and life after a protection order is served. There is a lot of help before and during the serving of a protection order. Many of the helpers believe that the job is done at that point. As far I have experience, that's just the beginning of an internal battle. If he was SO bad why do I still want him sometimes? This blog is to document my journey through those days and weeks until I am free.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
July 16 2011
Had a "date" with Charlie planned. I had broken up with him at least 20 times over the last year. That isn't counting our first date that I wanted to get out of before it started. Friends roll their eyes when I say that I saw him again over the weekend. My real friends know this really means that I slept with Charlie again even though I was saying the week before that we were done.
So today is Saturday. I wasn't really too excited about seeing him. I just got a new laptop. I really just wanted to stay home and play with that. About 10 o'clock in the morning, he began sending video text messages of a sex toy he had made himself. It was basically a saw with a dildo attached to it. The message read, "Do you want to get freaky tonight?" I replied, "No."
By 7 pm, I felt that I could no longer put it off. I got together with him. We went to have dinner at the Chinese buffet. It's his favorite. Are you getting by now that he's a cheapskate? He is.
After dinner, we went back to my place. I really wasn't feeling up to a movie. We laid on my couch watching a movie. After an hour or so, he began getting restless. He wanted to fool around. I was NOT in the mood. I had lost all attraction to him. He got up and said something accompanied with what appeared to be fake tears. Not sure why...but I laughed. I laughed because his crying appeared so fake. He was whining again about HIS needs and HIS feelings. After I laughed, he stormed out saying that he NEVER wanted to talk to me again. FINE. After he left I ran to the door and locked it. I knew he would be back. I did NOT want to do this all night. I went to bed.
Charlie rang my doorbell pretty continuously from midnight to 3am. I heard the doorbell, but stayed hidden in the bedroom. I kept hoping a neighbor would call the police.
So today is Saturday. I wasn't really too excited about seeing him. I just got a new laptop. I really just wanted to stay home and play with that. About 10 o'clock in the morning, he began sending video text messages of a sex toy he had made himself. It was basically a saw with a dildo attached to it. The message read, "Do you want to get freaky tonight?" I replied, "No."
By 7 pm, I felt that I could no longer put it off. I got together with him. We went to have dinner at the Chinese buffet. It's his favorite. Are you getting by now that he's a cheapskate? He is.
After dinner, we went back to my place. I really wasn't feeling up to a movie. We laid on my couch watching a movie. After an hour or so, he began getting restless. He wanted to fool around. I was NOT in the mood. I had lost all attraction to him. He got up and said something accompanied with what appeared to be fake tears. Not sure why...but I laughed. I laughed because his crying appeared so fake. He was whining again about HIS needs and HIS feelings. After I laughed, he stormed out saying that he NEVER wanted to talk to me again. FINE. After he left I ran to the door and locked it. I knew he would be back. I did NOT want to do this all night. I went to bed.
Charlie rang my doorbell pretty continuously from midnight to 3am. I heard the doorbell, but stayed hidden in the bedroom. I kept hoping a neighbor would call the police.
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